


Kotenok

by hydratedbarnes



Category: Marvel
Genre: Age Difference, Cunnilingus, F/F, Innocent Reader, Lesbian Natasha Romanov, Loss of Innocence, MILFs, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Size Difference, Somnophilia, Strap-Ons, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:14:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydratedbarnes/pseuds/hydratedbarnes
Summary: She’s way older than you, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem for both you and her when she decides to train you for the day.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Reader, natasha Romanoff/reader
Comments: 19
Kudos: 163





	1. Chapter 1

She caught glimpse of your gaze. Eyes, green and doe like, she feigned innocence to your staring. Well, how could you not? Natasha was beautiful, like a pirate drawn to a siren, she was tempting.

Every bit of an art work there was with those long model like legs and lumps red lips that mocked her locks, it was inevitable. Truly, you couldn’t keep your eyes off her.

But... Oh, yes, there was a but. She was much older than you were. In all honesty, everyone in the team was, with the exception of Peter, but he lives with Aunt May. But for you? You were stuck here.

Today, you’re in the gym... with Natasha who offered to train you for a little bit of self defence. You had barely even noticed her presence until she called your name and drew your head up with a finger under your chin.

You caught glimpse of her red painted nails. They were incredibly slender, long, and your heart raced for what it would feel like deep ins—

“You ready?” She gave you that smile, the one that always makes you flush under. With a nod, you follow her to the training mat, your eyes glued to the way her hips swayed with purpose and her ass... Holy.

“We’re gonna start with the basics.” You nod in confirmation while she stretches her arms out. “You ever punched someone before, _kotenok_?”

You answered her with a shake of your head, the question of that Russian nickname saved for later. She watches your eyes gaze over her body, analyzing your body language, she smiled as she moved over to you. “That’s okay. C’mere.”

You weren’t hesitant to follow her orders. She had made you stand in front of her, your back to her chest, you nearly bit your lip open to suppress that whimper when you felt her breast pressed against you. Oh God, you needed to keep your composure or you weren’t gonna survive today.

And as a world famous assassin, Natasha found concern in your still posture. “You alright, kid?” Her hair touched the bare skin of your shoulder when she ducked her head down, her eyes, oh so green when you looked at them in the mirror. You gave her a simple nod, afraid that anything more might come out as a whimper.

She takes the bait then begins the lesson.

She keeps you ever still in her arms, her own touching yours as she fixes your postition. A hand under your breast, just above your ribcage, she squeezes. “Good girl.”

You found her striking eyes stare back at you through the glass, a smile that feigned innocence to her lips, she began to move against you once again.

Her other hand, so careless yet gentle, snakes behind your thigh to pull your legs apart. Unwillingly, a gasp left your mouth that a hand slapped across it.

“ _Kotenok..._ ”

Your eyes fell close and your tongue made an appearance as they swiped across your lip. You can do this, you can answer your mentor. You have to for your sake, your sanity. Then after this, you can touch yourself however much you want. Just open your eyes.

“Open your eyes. Be a good girl for me.” And you listened. Your eyes fluttered open, slightest bit as you found Natasha’s green eyes staring with lust.

Your heart rushed at the sight of her. There was no way right? There was no way that the world’s deadliest assassin wanted you, a teenager who barely even knew her way around the tower. Surely you were dream right now.

That didn’t seem to matter to her when the under your breast dipped further south to where your naval sits. Your shorts sits high, and she hums against your neck when it dips under the waistband.

“Nat..?” Your voice becomes small and it makes the hand buried between your legs still. Her eyes finally find yours, no reflection of mirrors or anything, actually you.

She looks concerned. Almost hesitant on acting upon her desires with you.It’s a question within itself and you simply answer when your hand pushes hers further. An act of reassurance.

The first touch ripples through you like a stone hitting water. It wrecks you without any warning and you’re melting against the redhead’s front. Within moments, you’re finding yourself on the floor between Black Widow’s legs, hips bucking as her fingers worked through you.

You whimper her name like prayer, in which she only responses when she kisses your neck to own you. Her mouth moves further along to you ear. “You haven’t been touched, haven’t you?”

Was it that obvious? Was the lingering stares, bitten lips, and clenching thighs that clear to everyone else or was it just the way the redhead watched you as well? You wished you knew the answer to your own question but you had one for hers.

A shake of your head made her smirk and you caught it like a butterfly in the mirror. It also caused her to part your legs even further, ankles hooked with your own, it pushes her deeper.

And when bucking because wiggling, it nears you, like a tiny little edge, just off a cliff, you can feel the way she teases you. Just right there, a simple curl of her fingers would be sending you. But her free hand on your breast is what does it for you.

A loud cry, almost a wail, you still in your spot as finish right there in her arms; like a babe, she holds you close. Hell, even nuzzles her nose against your cheek as she inhales.

“Pretty little thing.” You blushed under her words. “You have much to learn, _kotenok_.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You reveal to Nat that you have some unlikely kinks after she refuses to touch you despite what happened at the gym.

Clad in nothing but your undies and tank top, the summer breeze chills shivers down your spine as it winds in through an open window. Your focus remains on the show your watching, the spoon, cold and sticky with strawberry ice cream sits on the tip of your tongue.

You giggled when some dumbass on the show did something stupid that erupted your sense of humour. A smile between your lips, you dip your spoon back into the bowl of ice cream.

You were sure you were going to finish this before the third episode and you were sure when the team returned from their mission, Bucky was going to be upset when he realized the ice cream was gone.

Oh, well. Their loss. Your gain.

And while you wished you had the luxury of staying at home, you weren’t. Peter was supposed to come over but he had an exam he had to study for. So, Natasha was tasked with baby sitting you. Well, not really, she just wasn’t needed on the mission so she stayed back.

And speaking of her, you had failed to notice her steps, oh so quiet, could you really blame yourself for not knowing when the world deadliest assassin had snuck up on you? Yeah, exactly.

She had caught you, panty clad and all, sitting crisscrossed on the couch with a pillow between your legs. She smiled to herself at the idea of her replacing that pillow. Perhaps, if you’d let her, if you said yes, the guilt that came with her lust for you would disappear.

She knew it wasn’t the best idea. You, half her age, she felt guilt and shame when she had her fingers buried in you the other day. But the way you had latched on to her fingers, mewled her name, it felt right.

And now, here she was, watching you giggle as you watch your show, barely even dressed as your tank top failed to cover your dignity. She faked a cough as she entered the room, and gladly it caught your attemtion.

Your head spun within second and she grinned at the sight of your delvesh hair. She suppose you just woke up. “Ice cream for breakfast?” Her eyes went from the spoon to your mouth to your chest.

You flushed under her words and pulled the utensil out to speak. “No ones stopping me.”

The redhead shrugged and crossed her arms, her chest squished against her own and you swallowed at the sight of them. They were bigger compared to yours; then again, she was years your senior— not that you mind one bit.

“I guess.” Her eyes jumped from you to the screen behind. You were watching Sex and the City, Samantha just showed up, crying in the bathroom about some dude’s micro dick that made you giggled.

Natasha soon joined you on the couch, her legging clad legs crossed over their own and her shirt rode up the slightest to give you a glimpse of her toned stomach. You averted your eyes to the TV, trying to avert the fact that you’re sitting here barely even dress beside the woman who fingered you days ago.

Yeah, sure, you were calm. Everything is normal.

Except the fact that a sex scene just had showed up on the TV and your eyes became wide at the sight. To be fair, it was a straight couple sex, that didn’t do much for you but with a certain redhead sitting right next to you, something grew wet between your legs.

“Are you cold?”

“Huh?”

You turned to her with brows furrowed and nose scrunched. Cold? Why would you be cold? It’s literally in the middle of summ—

“Oh.”

She had a hand over your breast. A thumb pressed over your blossomed nipple through the fabric of your shirt. Her eyes, she looked at you with eyes greener than ever.

You were unsure what to do. She had never been so forward, so bold with you until now. Perhaps it’s was your fault with the way you were dressed but you didn’t mind if this was the outcome.

She stay quiet for a moment, like a battle was fighting inside. You called her name with a whisper so quiet, it was barely there. “ _Tasha?_ ”

She looked up at you and her eyes widened, a blink of realization makes her hand pull away from your chest like she had touched fire. A gasp echoes in the empty common room and she slaps a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

Her eyes held some panick in them as she stood, and in you, there was guilt for making her feel that way. Your hand grabbed her wrist and stopped her before she went further. “Tasha.”

She turned back to you, tendrils of her red head framing her face so beautiful you almost forgot the ache between your legs. But yet, despite that, you couldn’t ignore the unease that settled deep in her face.

You flashed her with your eyes, doe like snd wide, you knew what you were asking of her. Stay. But she shook her head and pulled away. “You don’t know what you want, _kotenok_. I can’t.”

You frowned at her. “But I want you.”

Your eyes glazed with tears at her rejection. You really had taught she felt the same. After that incident in the gym, she had given you hope. Yet now, here she was openly rejecting you after she had been the one initiating it.

She stares at you like a deer in headlight. But beneath those forest eyes, there was a battle fighting for dominance. You bit your lip as you ground yourself against the pillow, she caught it.

“What’re you _doing_?”

You simply bat your lashes at her when a gasp falls from your mouth. “You promised to teach me.”

He gaze fell down to where you were, small little thing grinding against your own pillow in heat. Everything else that happened prior, gone. She was focused on you and only you.

“Stop it.”

You didn’t.

You kept going and a whimper came next when you rolled your hips just the right way. You whispered her name next, almost like wail, your fingers turned white at the way you gripped your pillow. “ _Mommy_.”

Your heart leaped at the slip of name. You had never openly called her that. Yeah, sure, you had during private and intimate nights by yourself but _never_ in her presence. And yet, it had slipped.

You were ready for her to run. Or perhaps look at you with disgust as you called her such name. You could take it, you wouldn’t blame her.

And as your actions stopped, your heaving chests didn’t. You simply stared at her, awaiting for the future of your relationship with the redhead.

When you expected her to walk out, never speak to you again, she simply stood right where you were on the couch and drew your head up with a hand under your chin. “No one told you to stop, _kotenok_.”

“I’m sorry.” You frowned as your hips moved to their own accord once again. Your eyes peering at her as a whine erupted from the bases of your throat.

“Please, Talia.”

God, you were a desperate mess and while the common room was empty, there was a still a possibility of the team coming home early and unannounced.

She ran her knuckles agains the skin of your cheek, slender and honey fingers, you whine at the touch of her. You couldn’t get off like this, you needed to feel her the way you did days ago.

And within seconds, she had her fingers, right around your throat while she pushed you onto your back on the couch. She could smell you, see you through the faint fabric of your undergarments but it was even better when she had peeled everything off your body.

Like a fragile little thing you were, you had responded to her touch so sensitively. Every kiss, lick, and faint whisper against your skin felt like the last time.

She was intoxicating, like a drug, weed, or the may other kinds you’ve tasted, she was the best one yet. She tasted the sweetness of the ice cream, strawberry may you add, on your tongue when she kissed. Savouring your tongue in hers, she whined when she had to pull away.

“Tony is going to get mad if he sees you like this.”

She parts your legs open and pushes them to your chest, you anticipate her touch with a grin present on your swollen lips. Her eyes find yours between soft thighs, she kisses one, then another.

“Then I guess you’ll be my pretty little secret, huh?” Then you’re feeling her. Every inch of her finger, curled inside of you as moans of her names fall. She knew of your body just as if it were her own and it amazes you of how quickly you could succumb to her.

You had no complaints. Not if it meant having you under the older woman’s body, squirming in pure desire and pleasure as she touched and owned your body. And if it meant this, all of the things she had done both now and in the gym, then you would gladly let her have you.

She makes sure your voice is just as vocal. The sounds of you, like the porn you watch, disgustingly vile and elicit as it bounces off the walls and stains the area of its presence. For sure you’ll be day dreaming to this scenario when you get together for movie nights.

Natasha makes sure she marks you on her own she kisses your breast, mouth parted, she latched on to you like a babe starved. “Talia…”

She hates her real name called by anyone else. But you? Fuck, it sounds like true heaven and she wishes no one else for it to he said. She makes sure you’ve said it enough when your throat becomes hoarse and all you could is simply whine and buck your hips.

Your exhausted, physically and mentally, but she keeps pulling, tugging and groping at your breasts while her mouth does wonders between your legs.

She doesn’t seem to be complaining when she moans against you and it causes you to tumble all over once again. You let her take and take until you’re just a babbling mess for her to play with.

Only then, till the room become quiet and empty from your moans, she pulls away in concern and tiredness. Her eyes, a lighter shade of green, glazed with a dazed look. She looks up from the comfort of your thighs and settles her cheek against the skin.

“Mmh.” She smiles when you twitch from the blow of air against you. “Sweet thing, aren’t you, _kotenok?_ And such a good little girl for me too _._ ”

She grins as your eyes soften at her praise. She’s analyzing you, every bit of your likes and kinks, she’s found out the main one when you had moaned it while grinding agaisnt your pillow.

All you could muster up was a hum when she kissed your naval, her soft hands, wonderfully massaging the curve of your bottom.

She breaks the unwavering silence once your euphoria washes down. “I’m sorry I can’t be more than this to you.”

You take the hand on your stomach, a kiss to her knuckles, you force her to cup your cheek and draw your eyes down. A shake of your head answers her doubt.

“I don’t care what anyone else says. What Tony or Steve will say.” You swallow your hesitation and the words come out like honey. “You’re all I want, Tasha. Only you. No matter what.”

Her forehead head touches your own, she sighs.

“It feels wrong.”

“If it feels wrong then why did I just finish four times?” She can sense the grin your tone and one appears on her own, her thumb runs over the course of your plump lips, bitten and raw. “Tell me one thing, though.”

She hums for you to continue.

“What does kotenok mean?”

Her eyes flutter up with mischief and she pushes her thumb between your lips and into your mouth, your eyes melt at the sight and feel of her. She’s ready for another round and so are you.

“My sweet _kitten_.” Her lips ghosts over your neck, a tease for what’s to come just as her other hand scoops your bottom against her middle. You know what she’s asking, you don’t hesitate as she’s lifting you up. “ _Mine._ ”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Natasha share a heated conversation until some unruly news interrupt the moment.

Natasha stares at you with eyes wide just as her mouth. Like you had horns or fangs for teeth, she looks shocked. Surprised.

To be fair, she had thought you were joking when she had asked you if you were a virgin. And to be fair, it was in the heat of the moment so she had thought you had nodded your head in response to get her off.

_And_ to be fair, she should’ve known better. She is years your senior and you had just started college. You don’t like to flaunt that fact, it just reminds everyone of how old you truly are and that you weren’t just another superhero living in the tower.

“Are you alright?” You had asked her, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth. You were sure that this time she was going to leave for sure. First the mommy thing and now this? Yeah, you were fucked.

But her silence worried you and you reached out to touch her hand, hesitation clouded your action and you pulled away. “Nat?”

“I thought you were joking.”

You giggled and raised a brow at the woman in disbelief while a finger twirled a strand of her red lock. Holy, she smelled like sweet sweet roses. “Why would I joke about being a virgin?”

She pulls her head back just the slightest, her eyes in to slit as she stares at you hesitant. “So you’ve never been...?”

A shrug from you answers her, your lips formed into a line while your hands raised. “I mean, not until you.”

“ _Kotenok_... I _touched_ you. _Fucked_ you. _Licked_ you like some whore in a brothel.” Her nose scrunches in pure distaste at her words, almost in disbelief that she was the one actually did that to you.

Her sweet little kotenok. You were practically the child of the whole team and she had damaged the goods. Her eyes star away from yours as the reality settles in and your heart breaks at the sight of her.

“Talia...” You frowned when she averted your gaze, but you weren’t having it. Your hands drew her head up but she wouldn’t budge, and frown liked your lips. You wanted to tell her to look at you, but share filled her body.

You leaned in to kiss her neck, pale skin, cold and marked from your previous nights with her, she’s so responsive when your tongue darts to lick over your marks. “Kotenok...”

There’s a warning to her tone but she doesn’t seem to be talking her own advice as a hand slips under yoir camisole. Slender little digits, nails painted a crimson red, traces over your ribcage in response.

You grow wet at the sensation and soon enough, your bucking your hips against her lap while your mouth attacks her neck. “You promised me, Talia.”

She hummed for you to continue, her own head ducking down to latch her own mouth into your skin. Like the frail thing you are, you mewl escapes your mouth as you fall against her chest.

She nibbles the tip of your lobe, small little thing, your breathing becomes heavy as you melt into her arms like putty. You’re basically humping nothing at this point but you’re fuckinh soaked that you’re sure she can feel you through her leggings.

“Tell me what I promised, kotenok.”

You can smell her shampoo from where your face is buried. Like sweet gently roses, she smelled like heaven. You inhaled her as if it were the last time and then spoke. “You told me I was yours.”

“That was before I thought you weren’t a—”

“And what was so wrong with that? I liked it, didn’t I? I came with you inside. On _your tongue_. _Your fingers_.” Your raised a brow at the older woman. “You’re acting as if you defiled me, Talia.”

She looked away at your words. “I might as well have if I hadn’t known you were serious about your virginity. It should’ve been special. Not in some gym where I was sweaty and horny.”

You shook your head at her words and cupped her cheek, forcing her gaze back into you, she attempted to look away still. “I don’t care about where it was. As long as it was with you. I’ve wanted it to be you for a while.”

Her eyes perked up at this. “Really?”

You giggled at her face and traced her protruding collarbone, your eyes settling on her purple skin as you bit your lip in response. “I thought about you every night since the day I arrived.”

She hummed for you to continue when she felt your hand guide her own further down your naval. The soft lace of your underwear rough against the pads of her fingertips, she can almost trace along the pink little bow of your panties.

“You know... I could hear you sometimes when you would fuck Wanda.” The reminder itself brings some sort of pain in your chest. Those very few months when you had just arrived and a small crush developed on the redhead, you had to listen to her make the other girl whine and cry her name in response.

And while you hated it as much, there were nights where your nipples would pebble under your camisole and your crotch would grow wet at the sounds.

“I wished it were me.” You gasped when her fingers dipped between your underwear, her fingers feeling nothing but bare skin and your swollen little button under the pads of her finger. “Oh, fuck, Talia.”

“What else did you do, baby? Mmh? Tell me.”

You smiled at her eagerness, even more so when it showed as her fingers swiped across your wet slit and drenched her fingers with you. You practically had to hold on to her shoulders while a whine left your mouth as your breasts pushed up against her.

“I would— _Oh, fuck._ ”

She click her tongue at your words. Shaking her head with a grin presented on her lips. “That’s a bad word, _kotenok_.”

You frowned at her disapproval, wanting to apologize but a cry of her name falls instead when her finger curls inside, just hitting that little spot inside of you that has your toes curling. “Oh, Ta—”

Then there’s a knock that booms through her room. Your head snaps over to the door and so does her. You share a look with the older woman, your own eyes filled with worry while hers are abnormally calm. She kisses your lips before her fingers leave you empty.

Youre settle on the edge of her bed as she gets up, a pout to your lips while a hand is settled between your legs while you practically hump your hand. All the while you watch her ass sway as she gets to the door.

It’s faint but you can hear Steve and Tony. She replies back but it’s all muttered before the talking grows louder. You hear your name drop and you pause in what your doing and listen in with a careful hear.

Natasha’s shoulders fall and there’s a sigh that comes from her. She turns and she catches your eyes, a smile to her pretty lips, she turns back again to the men she’s talking with.

There’s a few moments that passes before the door closes again. The clicking of it shuts brings you back to reality, your eyes doe like as you peer up at the redhead. “Is everything okay?”

She stands in front of you and towers you with inches. A sigh leaves her mouth as her fingers run through the locks of your hair. She shakes her head and scoffs.

“They need me for a mission.”

“Really? That’s great, Nat! It’s been a—”

“For half the year.”

Your face falls at her announcement. She has to be kidding right? There’s no way she’s going to be gone for that long! And just right after you and her started seeing or doing whatever it is the two of you have.

“Six months?” You gawked at her in disbelief. “That’s... Thats so long! What am I going to do without you?”

She wished she could laugh at the way your lips came out into a pout, instead, all she could offer was a soft smile in return as her knuckles ran along your cheek. “They’re sending me over to Bulgaria on Tuesday.”

Your eyes become wide. “That’s... two days from now. Did they tell you what for?”

She lets you lean against her, your face buried against her stomach as your arms snake around her waist. She sighs and just plays with your hair.

“HYDRA, _kotenok_. Undercover mission. You know I can’t tell you more than that.”

You frowned, thanking the Gods she couldn’t see them. “I’ll miss you.”

“I know you will, baby.”

Tears swell up in your eyes as you think about her leaving. She hasn’t been in a mission in a while, at least one that she has to leave for long periods of time. She never takes them anymore, only those short ended ones that she would arrive in the next set of days, but never this long.

There’s silence before a sob breaks free from your throat. She holds you close against her while some praises fall from her mouth like gentle sayings. Natasha crouches down in front of you and cat hes sight of your swollen eyes, filled with nothing but tears.

“ _Kotenok_ , my sweet girl, look at me.” She cups your wet cheek and draws your gaze up to her, where you catch her lips quirk up. “You will see me again, I promise you this.”

You claw at the tears sitting on your lashes, pouting like an incessant child as you blink away to see clear of Natasha. A groan falls from your mouth as you push away from the redhead and fall limp on her bed.

“This so fucked up.” You can hear her chuckle from the end of the bed. “We won’t be able to have phone sex!”

You feel her hand caress your thigh, gentle fingers, nails scratching at your skin with ease that soothed you down. “I won’t be long, you know this.”

Truth be told, you did. Natasha had a reputation for ending missions early, she always had a thing for efficiency no matter how dirty she needed to come home. Heck! She even came home once covered in blood because some dude refuses to cooperate with her.

You remember watching her in awe with an ache between your legs as the older woman strutted around the common room covered in blood just to get a drink at the bar. And to be honest, you fucked your self that night... many many times.

Your pout deepened. “But six months is a long time.”

Her hand inched towards the hen of your camisole, pushing at the right little thing as it settled around the underside of your breast. There, she just laid between your legs and smiled.

“We better make use of the time we have.”

You raised a brow, feigning a thought before she kissed the very top of your pubic bone. A gasp emits from your throat as Natasha spreads your legs further apart, her grin present as she kisses you further.

You can feel her drench your panties, song caresses of her tongue when she decides to lick you through the soaked fabric, she sucks, she licks, kisses all that once.

She’s barely even gotten to touch you bare and yet here you were, already on the verge of an orgasm. She lets you finish when a coo of your nickname, kitten in Russian, your body shakes in pure bliss as Natasha guides you through it.

Her hands wander over your body, finger splayed over the course of your breast, groping as her index and thumb pinches pebbled nipples.

“Tasha...”

Her mouth finds your in pure bliss, with you unaware, she licks and marks up your skin for all to see just as you did with her. You don’t care for that matter. There was a point in your relationship with Natasha that everyone else’s opinion simply didn’t matter anymore, even if she was a little older than you. So what?

Sure, you’d probably have to deal with a whole lot of yaking about finding girls or guys, or whatever it is you date, your own age from Tony and Steve. You don’t care, you never really did.

Plus, there wasn’t much adequate substitutions for Natasha (not that there is anyone that can compare to her). In all honesty, would they rather have you fuck some random dude from SHIELD? If you were desperate enough sure but you had eyes only for the redhead.

And she seemed to catch on to your dazed look as he mouth is pressed against your own as your falls like honey from her sweet red lips. Her hands never falter and instead they continue to roam in pure wonder.

“‘M gonna miss this pretty little body of yours.” Her tongue tastes of nothing but sweetness, perhaps it’s because of the chocolate covered strawberries you gave her. Or maybe the taste was you. Either was, she kissed you like it was her last, in a way, at least for the next six months it would be.

You let your fingers run through her hair, little curls latched around your fingers and you gave them a small that made her smile against your mouth.

“Oh, Talia...”

She nuzzled her nose against your cheek and inhaled you in. _So sweet_ , you heard her say. “What it is, _kotenok_?”

Her fingers peel off the slick underwear you wore, the frail fabric pooling around your ankles as her fingers part you open. Slender fingers sliding deep inside of you with ease, she swallows every single whimper, every mewl, and moan of her name.

Soon tears prick your eyes as the thought of her leaving breaks you. Natasha isn’t a stupid woman; she catches it quickly and frowns, her never stopping her movements.

She whispers your name, kotenok, falling like sweet prayers from her lips while she kissed the junction of your neck. “I’ll see you again, sweetheart. I promise you this.”

She lets you cry like that, with the occasional buck of your hips against her hand and the moan of her name. She lets you feel. She lets you cry.

Eventually, it’s too much and the impending orgasm breaks you apart. Your cries become into screams muffled by the pillow, and you know there’s a smile present on her lips at the sight of you.

“It’s alright, _dorogoy_.” She says it as she fingers you through your bliss, your body shaking in pure arousal while your eyes glaze with tears. “I’m right here, baby.”

You barely even felt her fingers leave you empty, too caught up in your bliss to even realize. However, you do taste that remanence of yourself on her finger when forces you like them clean.

Her words praises echo deep inside your ear, with you responding in soft coos as your eyes became doe like at her. “Don’t leave me, Talia. I’ll miss you.”

She lets you bury your face in the crook of her neck, your cheek warm against her skin just as your breath is hot. She lets you continue to suck on the finger in your mouth, while soft praises and reassurance fall, she tells you everything you need to hear.

“I’ll always be here, _kotenok_.”

Tuesday comes quicker than you wish. But Natasha makes sure to spend every waking moment of her time with you. Whether it be in bed with her fingers in you and mouth on you, or it was in a private room while she pampered you with alk the sweets you could ask for, sometimes she would braid your hair, others, it would be the opposite.

Either way, she made sure she spent every second of her time with you. The two of you hadn’t put a label yet on your relationship nor told the team but there was a lingering feeling in you that you were sure that they already knew.

Steve’s eyes would widen when he would catch sight of your purple hickeys. Sometimes during training when you weren’t with Natasha, which was incredibly rare, Bucky would gawk at the bruises settled on your hips. He had thought he had done that to you but with heat all over your cheeks, you had told him it wasn’t him.

It didn’t take him long to understand what you meant. His eyes wide as a sound of _ahh_ came from his mouth.

The other day, Thor just had arrived and was cheerful when he had found out you were here. He almost peed himself at the sight of the hickeys Natasha gave you the other night, his hands prying at your skin as he told you about some Asgardian medicine that could heal your wounds.

No one really questioned it. Except Tony during Nat’s final night at the Tower, where everyone had settled in for dinner at the table, Tony’s brow arched and pointed to the spots on your neck.

You feigned innocence and he didn’t push further than that, knowing that you weren’t going to give him a proper answer.

Natasha hadn’t been as secretive with hers as well. Perhaps there was the sense in the two of you where you didn’t care anymore to really hide your relationship. Maybe it was the fact that she was leaving for months in end, and there was the slightest possibility she may not come back.

You hated that thought. She made a promise to you she would come back and you’re choosing to believe her. She never lies. At least not to you.

The morning she’s set to leave, she doesn’t wake you. You can feel her move against you though, but just on the verge of conscienceness, you’re deep asleep as she would like it.

She kisses you not once but twice, before settling the note she’s written on your desk for you. A love letter of some sorts, perhaps, but Natasha has always have thought love was for children.

She’s not entirely sure that’s what she believes anymore when she leaves for Bulgaria that morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha returns after months of absence and something shifts between you and your relationship

“She doesn’t know any better!”

Tony’s words echo into your ear as if he might as well yelled at you. They had talked about you as if you didn’t exist. As if you hadn’t been sitting on the couch, hands clutched to the little brown bear Natasha placed on your desk when she had left that morning nearly six months again.

They had found out. Of course they did. They’re were bound to either way and it was only a matter of time till they did. Tony had found the note, the one the redhead left you.

You suppose you shouldn’t care, you were expecting it when you decided to date the older woman, if dating is what you and her are doing. 

Regardless of your relationship status, Tony had found out and pried an answer. Resulting in tears, you had told him through wretched sobs that Natasha had given it to you before she had left.

The billionaire wasn't sure if what you or the note were implying was true but when you told Tony that you had been seeing her, in a way that was both sexual and.... emotional, all the man had seen was red.

He sent you to your room that night. The place where you’ve been huddled up ever since, only coming out to eat, only then would you return with a tray of your plates. Eat, sleep, wake, that was the routine. All while laying or doing work as you passed the time till Natasha came back.

You were sleeping when she did return. Buried deep in your slumber, the small bear between your arms while your bare legs brushed under the cool duvet. 

You had given no one access to your room except for you and Natasha. Which perhaps the reason why you hadn't heard her enter but despite that, deep asleep, you barely even had felt the bed dip with her weight.

Only then when a dream of yours felt so surreal, so realistic as a shiver, a touch of something cold felt so real against the surface of your stomach. Then you had felt it. That small little burn in the pits of your tummy, then something slick and wet between your legs.

Your eyes went wide as you whimpered awake. Only then, realizing that the duvet was thrown aside and you were only shown the view of a certain redhead right between your legs.

You could catch the blonde in her hair. Grown out pieces of it, mixing with the crimson red of her natural hair. But when her eyes flutter up and catches your gaze, a smile presents itself on her lips which then you felt against your cunt.

Your mouth parts as to speak to her but only a portion comes out as the rest of nothing but a whine, loud and clear against the red walls of your room. Your hips buck in familiarity of her tongue, her lips.

They missed it just as much as you missed her. And she’s right here, drawing you into an orgasm, the very first since her absence in the six months she’s been gone. But shes early, three whole weeks early before shes technically set to come home.

_She kept her promise._

She’s here now and she’s drawing you into an orgasm that shakes your whole core awake. Your eyes pinched closed while her hands splay over the course of your tummy as she keeps you down.

The only thing that’s audible to your ears is the sounds of squelching and her tongue. She sounds like she’s enjoying herself more than you are. That’s clear when she gives your little budding button a kiss as she pulls you open.

“Oh, my little _кролик_.” She savours your taste. You whine as her mouth enters you once again. “So sweet for me, aren’t you, baby?”

You bucked your hips when she pulled her mouth away and rubbed your mound with the heel of her palm. Soft little circles against your clit while she crawled over your writhing body.

She nuzzled her cheek against your throbbing pulse, inhaling deeply as if it were her first time. “Answer me, _kotenok_. Are you?”

You whined in response. “Yes, mommy.”

You can practically feel the smirk against your skin when those words fall from your mouth. Her hands, slender and cold touching the hand over your bear as she guides over the course of her flat stomach.

She’s clothed, but you feel the waistband or her sweatpants and she draws your hand further down to where there’s a bulge in her crotch.

“You feel that, baby?” You nod consciously at her question. “That’s all for you. Gonna fill you with my cock. You want that, _кролик_?”

She forces your hand to give her a good squeeze, her lips lined with a smirk as she stares at your wide eyes.

There’s a few moments of silence where Natasha simply admires your dazed look. Eyes wide and glimmering with tears, she traces your cheek with her knuckles before kissing your nose.

“Just be my good girl for tonight. Got something special for little girls like you. Yeah?” All you gave her was a nod before her hands found home on your hips. Grip tight as she dragged you onto her lap, her eyes glimmered with mischief.

But you’re too dazed out to focus on that. A little groggy on your side as you just had been woken up with an earth shattering orgasm, you whined when she had manhandled you against the bed.

Through your glazed eyes, you saw the imprint of the bugle against her sweatpants, your mouth practically watered at the sight with her catching your reaction.

“You alright there, baby?”

You nodded and bit your lip as she palmed herself. Only then with a passing moment, her slender fingers, nails now painted black, hooked over the waistbands of her sweatpants and tugged down.

You caught sight of the toy attached her. It’s large and protrudes out, and Natasha smiles at the sight of your face. “That’s big.” Your words become slurred yet she chuckles at your response.

“I’ve got you, _kotenok_.” She grips your hips towards her, soft, gentle hands, sitting your bum on her lap as she alings herself against you. You feel her nails scratched over the skin of your tummy before she slams right in.

It takes you back. Your mouth parted while a gasp erupts from the depths of your throat while tears prick your eyes. Holy fuck, was she big. You’ve never had a proper toy like this in you, sure she’s had played with you before but they could never compare to the size of _this_.

It’s filling that with the hand over your tummy, Natasha is sure she can feel the toy right up against her hand. She smiles at that fact itself, especially more so when she catches a glimpse of you. Heaving and mewling her name with every thrust, harsh against your thighs and ass, it’s all nothing but pleasure to her as she watches you.

Occasionally, she coos your name. Her little kitten, all submissive underneath her while she rails you into next week. All the while she thumbs at your swollen clit. She’s quick to draw you to an orgasm, it’s not long, she’s been gone for a while and this? Well, it just reminds the both of you how much you missed each other.

With every thrust and mewl, you shake around her in despite as she holds you close. Her tongue drips of her native language, something in Russian, she coos to you while she works you through on her lap. Tears prick you eyes as she helps you through the orgasm, only there for her pleasure when she buries her face in the crook of your neck.

“That’s it, _kotenok_. I’m here.”

A moment passes as your wailing calms, a sudden urge of appreciate wrecks through your body for the soundproof walls that Tony had installed in every room. Natasha coos further and rakes her fingers through your hair, while her lips kisses new marks on the surface of your skin.

You can smell a hint of perfume on her shirt. It’s different, unfamiliar. You’re too unhinged to care. “You’re early.”

She hums against your pulse. “I told you.”

A smile lined your lips and she can feel it against her shirt. You snuggle closer to her in an effort to close the space, the core of her toy rubbing against makes you whimper in response.

“How about we wash you off?”

You claw at your eyes, attempting to rub the sleep away but the older woman simply chuckles at the sight of you. Lips bitten and raw, eyes red and glazed, she takes pride in her work when she finds the hickeys all over your breasts and neck.

Natasha softly smiled at the sight of you, with her knuckles running over the course of your cheek.

The water sits warm against your skin, the scents of lavender filters through your noise while clouds and clouds of bubbles surround you.

Natasha’s hands feel soft and gentle against your body while she handles the loofa against you. With you bare back pressed her chest, she washes your front with ease.

Theres a slight hum against the crown of your head when she kisses you, somethings against the junction of your shoulder, left and right as she tells you of the adventures she had while she was out in Bulgaria.

There wasn’t much, she won’t lie but she tells you of the snow that there was, reminding her of her childhood in Russia. There was one, a place in St. Petersburg where Bulgaria had reminded her off. She promises you to bring you there one day, perhaps show a little of her mother land to you.

There’s silence that waves over once again. Your eyes falling back into unconsciousness until the memory of facing your family returns. Your fingers tracing over the bruised knuckles on the older woman.

“They know.”

She stays quiet and inside you theres fear that she’s done for. That after everything. After the whole six months the two of you went without each other, this is the breaking point for her.

Tears prick your eyes and your hands claw at the way it stains your cheek. Natasha draws your gaze, bringing it up to her where you catch those emerald gems.

“I know I shouldn’t care what they think of us.” She frowns at the sight of your eyes, red and swollen. “I said I wouldn’t care. But they...”

Anger flashes between her emerald eyes and Natasha’s brows furrows in curiosity. “They _what_ , kotenok.”

The water sloshes against slick bodies as Natasha hugs your close to her chest, your face buried in the crook of her neck while sobs wrecked through your whole being.

“They kept me in my room, Talia.” You breathed in, a hiccup running through your throat. “They were horrible. They said the most horrific stuff about us.”

Her anger was now prominent in the way she held her face. Her nose scrunched while nostrils flared, she seemed on edge even with the way her arms engulfed you. “Talia?”

She ignored your eyes. “I told them not to do anything... I would’ve taken care of it.”

“Taken care of what, Talia?” Your brows furrowed curiously. You were in now say naive to the idea of lies, especially with the life you’ve lived, but with the way Natasha withheld information from you worried your relationship’s foundation. “ _Natasha_.”

She snaps back to you, her eyes more striking than ever and the reality of it hits that you had called her by her fake name for the very time since she’s returned. Her tongue locked over raw lips, swollen with the way you had kissed her prior. Just as he spoke, she swallowed. “They knew before.”

“ _What?_ ”

“That time in my room. Where they had interrupted us, two days before I was set to leave.” She exhaled as if she had been holding it this whole time. “They had their suspicions. I told them... I _fucking_ told them I would take care of us.”

Your eyes swelled at the sight of her. Angry, frustrated, every emotion at once and it overwhelmed you. “But then they had me sent over to Bulgaria... because of us. I told them I would take care of everything, kotenok. I told _them_ —”

Your hands reaches up to cup her cheek. With your body straddling her, you draw her head up from her frenzy. “—Talia, hey, hey. Look at me, please.”

She lifted her head, with eyes mocking your own, a frown lined your lips in response. Your fingers ran through her soaked hair, like a gentle caress of the wind, red locks slipped through the gaps.

You shook your head and she questioned it. “It’s just us. Remember what you said to me? I’ll be yours. I know their words shouldn’t get to me—”

“They shouldn’t.” Natasha gave you a nod and leaned close, her forehead pressed agaisnt your own she was hot against your skin. “They don’t know us. They will _never_ know us, kotenok.”

A smile lined your lips at her words, thinking of how it was nothing but the truth. The redhead spoke nothing but that as a finger trailed over the course of your inner thigh. It didn’t go unnoticed by you when you felt your nipples pebble against Natasha’s chest.

“They’ll never know the sounds you make for me. These little whines.” She caresses between your legs as if it were her first time exploring it, the water slick underneath, it helps to ease her finger in. “These cute moans. All for me, aren’t they?”

You fall against her in pure heat. The water soon becoming cold agaisnt your hot bodies, you and her don’t seem to mind while Natasha fingers you through. Your swollen little pearl, just right under the pads of her fingers, pulsing in pure sensitivity.

Your body jerks in response when you orgasm. Almost as if responding to Natasha’s fingers, it knows her well now. More than you as she takes and she takes, and you give and give.

She’s all that you can think about. Perhaps that’s what she wants. But those green eyes, red stricken hair, curled over the thickness of your fingers. She’s all that matters when an exhale fills the confinement of the bath.

Her soft breathing, in sync with yours when you fall limp in her arms. With the water turning cold, she’s the one who peels the two of you out of the tub.

The only rememberance of your activies left on each other’s bodies, like pieces of arts, pieces of history, stuck on skin like purple stains. She watches you curl underneath the comfort of you duvet, for a moment, the sight of you tempts her to slip in and never return.

But the door slips open and Natasha is caught with the sight of her friends, sat by the common room, awaiting for her arrival. Their heads turn, so does hers, she doesn’t hide the marks you gave her.

She shows them proudly. They’re not amused. But she couldn’t give any fucks to them. They don’t know what you and her are like. And for that matter they’ll never know.

Steve doesn’t even meet her eyes. James does but they’re colder than the way his baby blues radiate. Tony shakes his head. Sam keeps occupied to avoid the situation. She sighs in response and plops herself on the couch.

She expects a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://starsvck.tumblr.com/


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Natasha attempt to live with the fact that the team is aware of your relationship.

You don’t miss their averted eyes and their quiet mouths. The common room sits still as if there had been no other people in the room except for you and Natasha.

She sits across you from the couch, much like a reflection in the mirror, she mocks your still stance with a lined smile. Her lips pressed just like yours. The two of you attempt to enjoy the morning while the rest of the team enjoy theirs.

You have a bowl of cereal in your arms, the redhead has a yogurt. And in the faint distance, if you tried hard enough, their gossiping whispers can be heard.

You hear Sam. He speaks to Bucky and bets on who’s going to break first. Tony mutters something to himself. Something about irresponsible adults and childish teenagers, you know it’s about you and Natasha. Steve comes next when he scolds Sam and Bucky.

A smile forces itself on your lip when your eyes travels to the older woman across from you. She stares kindly, almost observing with concern and care.

And then you’re returning to eating your cereal, attempting to blink away the tears that swell up in your eyes. You know you shouldn’t care. That’s what you told Natasha.

They’ll never know your relationship with her. They’ll never know what goes behind lock doors. They’ll always assume of the advantage the redhead took of your during such an intimate moment.

You catch the hickeys permanament on her skin, a grin, now genuine forms on your lips. A sense of happiness erupts through your chest at that one moment, to think that she’s yours and you're hers.

A thumb caresses over the one she gave you. Just right between your inner thighs, if you pulled your shorts high enough on your waist, you could see the marks, purple and red on your skin.

The sound of metal clanging against glass brings you out of your trance. Your head snaps up to find the redhead standing and you take notice of what she’s asking of you.

You’re sure the team is eyeing the interaction. With careful eyes, you know that they’re taking note of everything Natasha is doing. And for that matter, your bowl of Kellogg’s and milk is set aside beside her half eaten cup of vanilla yogurt.

A hand intertwined, she leads you into her room. The silence broken when the door behind her shuts with a click. A broken sob wrecks through your body and your knees feel like giving out. But she’s there.

Her arms wrapped around your body, she towers over you with inches and something in your chest breaks. It lets loose. You can’t help but cry in the chest of the woman you’ve been seeing.

And she lets you.

She holds you just like that, just enough until your cries soften and all she can hear is the soft breathing of your wonderful lungs.

The smell of her is intoxicating. Perhaps it’s what returns you peace or the way she held you against her. She’s here. That’s okay.

And when you pull away with hands clawing at the tears that stain your cheek, Natasha kisses them away. “You’re okay.” It’s a prayer that it seems like she’s telling herself.

While she holds you there, the carpet of her floor scratching your knees, you start to believe her. That some part of this, the whole situation, your relationship with her, that it’ll be okay. That you’ll find some peace knowing you can be with Natasha.

There’s hope that’s ignited when your head is drawn up, finding the sweetest of emerald green staring back at you. Natasha’s nose is pink just as her cheeks. It is getting colder out, you mustn’t blame her.

But her cheeks feel colder than you’ve thought and with the warmth from you palms, she leans in.

“You’re freezing, Talia.”

She kisses your knuckles when she peels your hand off, warming it with her mouth as she peppers gentle pecks over your fingers. “I’m fine, baby. Are you?”

You become silent at her question. Hesitation seeps in your bones as you sigh. “ _Kotenok_...?”

Habit kicks in when you curl against the woman, your body falling limp against her, she takes you in. Even soothes you down with fingers running through unruly locks. She waits for you just like that, like the patient widow that she is, she doesn’t push.

Only then, when you find the courage to speak do you break the silence.

“They hate us.” It’s barely a whisper but it’s there if not for the edging silence in the room. “They despise you and they think low of me. They think we’re wrong.”

Like a pin drops, a tear follows. Natasha catches it between a thumb, the pads of her skin soaking every sad drop of your tear. She doesn’t mind nor makes a peep.

But she simply holds you. With a shake of her head, she disagrees. It’s nothing after that but the exception of the way her hairs fall and frame the both of you.

“Talia?”

Her hum is gentle like a caress of the wind against your shoulder. Almost like a tickle, you wished you could laugh.

“Just hold me tightly.”

That, she does.

There’s a moment in times like these when you catch her so mundane, so herself, that you realize it becomes more than you’ve intended.

With her head buried in the book she’s reading or perhaps bottom lip bitten raw while concentrating on a mission report. It’s captivated her beauty with the way she appears so normal, so at ease.

Even in times like these, where she stands there like a proud woman, nothing but her witts as she speaks to Tony. You hear nothing from the glass wall between them. Nothing but the muffle sounds of incoherent arguing while Bucky’s eyes buries holes at the back of your head.

You take pride in knowing that she does this for you. And you take pride that you’ll do the same if not for her.

There’s a moment where the sounds of the clock ticking fills your ears. It’s only broken when the super soldier across from you takes courage to speak upon his thoughts.

“You know you can tell me anything.”

You know he means it. You know he means well. But you also know that he means it out of pure concern and pure belief in what he has been told. And with that comes misinformation. 

So, you smile at him. Nod even as you trace over the fading marks of Natasha’s work on your thigh. It doesn’t go unnoticed. Especially not by Bucky. 

“I know.”

Bucky almost looks taken back by your nonchalant response. You don’t seem phased. He’s on edge with what to do next and you don’t blame him. No more sugar coated questions come out after that. He isn’t sure what else to ask except for the inevitable.

“Is she forcing you?”

Your head snaps over the man years your senior. You’ve guessed that he’s roughly the same age as Natasha, if not older. In another world where you liked men, surely you would’ve gotten with him.

Not in this one.

In this one, he’s a concern colleague on the brink of an anxiety attack. And for a moment, you edge on the fear of anger as red flashes between your eyes at the accusation.

“Why _would you_ think that?” You don’t even give Bucky enough time to answer your question as you beat him to it. “Natasha is nothing but a kind and compassionate woman. She’d rather kill herself than purposely hurt the ones that she love.”

While your words are supposed to be bitter and full of spite, it rather surprises when you take note of what you had said. Bucky seems to mock your reaction and he straightens his back. He feigns a cough tk clear the silence that stills after.

“Is that what you are to her?”

Panick surges through your being. The very same question repeating in your mind. Is that what you are to her, or was that simply a figment of your imagination? A simple dream of what you wished your future to be with her like?

Your lips feel dry when you attempt to speak. A shrug answers Bucky instead. “I- I... Um— I don’t know...”

“I won’t lie. I know you’re relationship is a little... _unorthodox_ since Tony practically views you as his own. But in all the years I’ve known the woman. After _Yelena_. After Europe. She seems happy.” Bucky swallows deeply, an exhale escaping his throat before he speaks again.

“But the question is, are you?”

You wish to scream out yes, that despite everything. Despite her absence, happiness is all Natasha Romanoff has given you. Ever since you had walked in to the Tower that day, bruised skin and cracked ribs, she took you in. Sure, so did Tony but Natasha had been your friend since the day you came.

And when friend turned into best friend, crushing on the older woman was an inevitable feat that you were bound to.

Your thoughts return back to Bucky’s words. Natasha does seem happy. After Europe and that... _Yelena_? You’re not entirely familiar with the name and curiosity washes over you. A question forms on the very tip of your tongue.

But the door slams shut before you could answer. All heads, snapping to the sound, voices of Natasha and Tony, yet still arguing in plain sight. Wanda catches on with the commotion and rolls her eyes at the noise, muttering something incoherent in Sokovian before she storms off.

Bucky, however, stays.

He attempts to distract you by asking questions about school. Something about the show that’s playing on the TV but even despite his futile attempts, all you can focus is the sound of Natasha’s voice— loud against the room while Tony storms off.

A frown lines your lips at the sight of her. Your eyes, darkened with circles and bags, you peel the throw blanket off your body, raising a head from Bucky. He doesn’t question it when he watches you pad your way down the hallway, catching a glimpse of Natasha’s locks falling as it framed your shoulders when she leans to hug you.

It’s something personal. So private that Bucky feels invasive for staying. He leaves within moments of seeing the redhead. Barely peeps a word, he‘s seen what he needs to know.

That’s all the two of you ever needed.

She holds you like her own, like a piece of fragile artifact, her fingers handle the buttons of your jeans with ease and delicacy.

You feel nothing but her in moments like these. It lets you feel the way her fingertips draws memorials over the course of your skin like it was her last to touch you. It lets you feel the way her mouth, cold and chapped presses against the junction of where your neck and collar bone meets.

Sometimes, the soft exhales of breath against your cheeks when she goes to bury her face in the crook of your neck. You welcome her with open arms as her fingers work your jeans down.

Her name comes nothing of the sort, just soft whispers until she pays you the attention you crave. A grin presents itself on her lips when a moan gets caught up in the depths of your throat, she’ll take note of that as she curls a finger deep inside.

“Let me touch you.” Your voice caresses her lips when she kisses you. The gentle sway of her lips, now drenched from you as her tongue glides over the course of your bottom lip. “It’s always me.”

A whine erupts the room and against your lips, you can feel Natasha smiling. Only then, the lack of air has her pulling away. For a moment, everything passes and it’s just her. “ _It will always be you_.”

The smell of nicotine and smouldering cigarettes flail around the air, it tickles your nose in a sense that has you scrunching in response.

It’s faint but it’s so ever prominent to your virgin sense. And you catch Natasha, with that damn thing between her lips out by the balcony.

The last bit of her cigarette falls against her ash tray, the smoke falling out before one last exhale from her mouth. Then she’s returning back in and meets your eyes.

She looks beautiful just like that. Tendrils of her red and blonde tipped hair, framing the curve of her face, a smile to her pink lips that matched her rosy nose. A beautiful piece she is, her fingers against yours cheek feels even better.

“Hey.” You lean into her hands, like prior, she engulfs you in a hug where you feel nothing but bare skin against yours.

You feel the skin of her lips touch you when she kisses the crown of your head. So gentle, barely even there if not for the small exhale of air. “I’m right here.”

“Promise?”

A smile blossoms the redhead’s lips. Something about this moment, something about the ease of your hold embrace around her while she lays the both of you down. It’s everything she adores.

This time, she commits to a promise she’ll always keep. If not, only for you. “ _Always_.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doubts and hesitation seeps into the cracks of your relationship with the older woman and it leads into obstacles.

Natasha teases the roots of your head with the comb. with gentle strokes, sometimes a wiggle when you exhale in pure satisfaction, and most of the time she smiles.

With soaked hair in the palm of her hairs and the teeth of her comb, she brushes any itching tangle away from the roots of your hair. Her movement gentle and careful while you sit there between her legs, patient as ever while you took note of what you did for your bullet journal.

The redhead eyes the way your skin is warm and fresh from the shower the two of you had shared; with a gentle sniff of the air, she can smell the lavdener of your body wash and the coconut of your shampoo.

But she also catches how red your skin is from her kisses, purple from her possessiveness. And for a moment, with the way your neck looks beaten from prior activities, she grows with guilt for thinking she had hurt you.

However, the ease of your voice returns her back into the headspace and finds herself staring at the wet hair in the palm of her hands. “ _Talia_?”

She hums for you to continue, indicating that she was listening with open ears. “When can we go to Volgograd?”

But the question nearly takes her back and she pauses mid comb. Her lips curving into a smile at the reference of her home city. She continues to brush through your hair, peeking over your shoulders just between that she was able to get a glimpse of your bullet journal.

**PLACES TO TRAVEL W NAT :)**

  * _Volgograd, Russia 🤍_
  * _Crema, Italy_
  * _Paris, France_
  * _Venice Beach, California_



Warmth seeps into Natasha’s bones at the sight of her home written first. The true dedication of your curiousity and interest never ceases to amaze her, truly.

“Mmh… Good question. Answer me this first; do you want french or dutch braids?” She watches as you bit your lip in thought, your brows cutely furrowed while lips pout out.

“Are the dutch the ones you did on Monday?”

“Yes, they’re the one you told me that made my hair look like an ice cream swirl because of the red and white.”

A giggle falls through from your lips and it has Natasha grinning from ear to ear in return. You write another country down into your page before scribbling down a heart with your name and hers, then shutting your book close.

“So…?”

She tugs the slightest bit on the roots of your hair, resulting in a loud whine that came from you. Your lips playfully out in a pout before you slapped her hand away from your hair.

“Leave it. I like it unbraided.” You turned to her with a smile on your face, your journal long forgotten as you crawled in to her lap.

She eyed you curiously. “Then you’re gonna soak your shirt.” Her own travelling to the low cut neckline of your shirt where she’s able to catch the slight glimpse of the curve of your breasts.

Her hand reaches out unconscious to her, and she finds a thumb rubbing over the exposed skin of your décolletage.

“That’s okay.”

She hums in response, distracted by the pretty sight of you in her lap.

“Talia?”

The redhead drew her head up and caught your gaze, something dubious in those doe eyes, hesitation seeps in. Yet, you don’t pull away when she runs her knuckles along the skin of your cheek.

Your voice becomes barely a whisper but it’s directed right at her. “Do you think they’ll let us?”

“They don’t ever have to know.” She offers you the kindest smile she can give.

But you don’t return it in response. Only a frown lines your lip and you’re tugging away from her embrace with an averted gaze.

It’s a fact that you don’t want to believe. While sure, the team had no idea of the reality of your relationship with the older woman, that didn’t mean you wanted to live in shame, in fear of what they thought.

You looked at Natasha, fully dubious of her words and even hesitant to touch her again. “Are you ashamed of me?”

The question is something Natasha doesn’t expect at all from you. It shows with the way her eyes go wide and freezes in her spot. You almost feel bad but your insecurities are far worse than guilt.

“You told me that we shouldn’t care. I try not too but when I want to be with you in public, around them, it seems that you don’t. I want to kiss you around them just the way I do here or hold your hand…” You pause to take a moment but assumptions run through your mind and your mouth works faster than your head.

“Is it the public? Are you afraid of them finding you that you’re sleeping with some eighteen year old?”

Natasha watches as a tear rolls over the curve of your cheeks, yet, she never sees your gaze as you avoid hers. Guilt hits her hard and she attempts to reach out to you but refrains last minute.

“You know that’s not what I mean, _kotenok_ …” She mocks your response in return but yours only deepens.

“ _But_ _you_ tell me these things when we’re sleeping. You kiss me and tell me that _they_ _don’t_ matter but you always return to the way you are when you’re with them even though they don’t like you.” You pause for a moment to claw at the fallen tears, now dried and staining your cheek.

“Sometimes, I don’t think it’s me who you’re trying to reassure…”

When the redhead reaches out this time, you let her. You let her caress your cheek while the other hand snakes around your waist to pull you close. Only then, with her head buried against your stomach, the two of you just sit there in silence.

“ _I’m sorry_.”

It’s the only thing she can offer. She doesn’t know how else. While she wants to refuse and deny every bit of what you’ve said, it’s nothing but the inevitable truth and she hates every bit of that idea.

And the only thing you can offer her are tears. The very same ones that prick your eyes and Natasha isn’t there to pick them up. She isn’t here. Perhaps she’s a figment of your imagination, that the woman in your hold isn’t her but regardless… she feels far.

“I just want to be with you, Talia.”

“I know, _kotenok_ … I’m trying.”

You wished to see nothing but her, however, with the way she’s buried against your stomach, it has you drawing her head up to see. Eyes red and glazed with tears, you’re frowning you kiss them away. Every salty little drop, sits on your skin when you kiss each cheek.

“Please, don’t cry.” Your mouth travelled to her nose then to her lips. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Talia.”

She tastes nothing of sweet sadness, the taste of emptiness, you can’t find the familiarity of something happy, sweet, and sugary. Only the tears that sits on your lips, but despite all of that, she’s kissing you back in response.

She feels possessive. _Rough_ , when her hands are reaching out around to grope your ass. It’s not something you mind but it takes you by surprise when she’s now tugging you into her lap.

Her mouth leaving your own just to nip at your bottom lip, the slightest bit of pain sears through your mouth but it’s nothing that you can’t handle. Still, Natasha’s cheeks are still wet and warm to the touch.

“You know how I feel about you, _kotenok_.”

She’s slipping the hand from your ass to right between you and her, slender fingers, cupping you through your shorts and it makes you fall against her in response. “ _I know_.”

Her fingers caress every spot inside of you, like working you as if her own. And inside of you, in your chest, knowing that in every way possible, Natasha was just as much you as the way you are her… she’s known you. Felt you. Thought of you.

While a stranger the two of you may look to the team, looking like two lovers, nothing much in common with the exception of what you do in bed, you know the two of you are more than that beyond this point.

The fine line passing between just a simple hookup from where it began to something more.

And just like that, you let her work you through every orgasm, every kiss, every whisper of her voice against your ear. Natasha Romanoff holds on to every drop and inch of you with pride.

While the room fills with the soft trickles of rain against window, she holds you close, with bare bodies pressed against each other under the comfort of the duvet, Natasha smiles when you’re flipping through the pages of your journal.

“I think this is where I wrote down our first time.” You point to a page, little doodles of a spider, Halloween themed for her sake, while there’s a chibi drawing of Natasha in the corner. “It’s like a little calendar in one page! But this is when you took me to that comic book shop in Midtown… remember?”

She kisses the side of your head, smelling just how fresh your hair smell against her nose. “Of course. We ran into Peter that day… Told him that you and I were having some girl time alone. Whatever that meant.”

A giggle falls from your lips before your journal shuts close. The sound of it echoing louder than the rain, you look up to Natasha to catch her face filled with nothing but serene thoughts.

However, within the moment your mouth parts, the door knocks. FRIDAY’s voice rumbles through the room, announcing that its Wanda.

Natasha peels herself from the bed, forcing a robe around her body before she pads her way to the door as to click it open. Though, she opens it enough that you catch a glimpse of the Sokovian witch, her own striking red hair challenges of that, your lover’s.

“ _Wanda_ … Hey.” The Russian is a little taken back by the presence of her old hookup, though, nevertheless, she keeps it polite and civil.

The Maximoff, however, forces a smile that even a non assassin without psycho analysis could tell. Her eyes are hesitant and her fingers are jumpy, Natasha can tell there’s something present in her mind and she voices it. “Can I help you?”

“I don’t know if this is a good time—”

“It isn’t… I’ve got plans, Wanda.”

Then the face of the Sokovian is falling, seriousness seeps in and Wanda’s eyes are travelling behind the Russian who’s known front of her. She’s taken a guess, without having to use her powers, she knows.

“She’s with you, isn’t she?”

Natasha raises an accusing brow. “And what if she is? Is that a problem?”

The Sokovian shakes her head, truly avoiding to push the Russain’s buttons in hopes for a civil conversation. But Natasha isn’t having any of it. She’s promised you she’ll try and trying is what she’ll do.

“You know, Wanda, just because you and I have slept together a couple times, doesn’t mean you get to have a say in any of my relationship.”

You heard that one loud and clear despite behind the door. Natasha’s voice is always very vulgar and loud when she’s angry, it’s something you wish you would never be on the end of. But the thought of her sleeping with anyone else but you, creates some jealousy that bubbles in your chest.

It’s painful. Something you wish you didn’t have to feel nor hear again. Even through a muffled door.

Nevertheless, you continue to listen.

“I understand that I don’t have a say but it matters when you’re going to end up hurting yourself or her in the process.” Wanda’s face softens at the sight, she’s serious now, so genuine, Natasha isn’t used to having non vulgar arguments.

“Are you sure you’re not being impulsive? She’s a stranger to you, Nat. She’s been here for only a year… Someone you barely know, sleeping in your bed, claiming you as hers… The team just doesn’t want both of you hurt.”

And for a moment, there’s something that flashes between the redhead’s eyes, something possessive, something so offended that she takes a step back into her room.

“…You know, if you pay attention, she leaves you these little cookies when you’re not around? Tells me that she gets them from a bodega down by the street because she heard you talk how good it was once.” Natasha smiles at the next memory. “She also has a journal, talks about everyone and how at home she feels here. She keeps everyone’s mug clean, but she likes to keep hers beside mine. She’ll leave me little reassuring notes when I’m out for the day. She’ll text me about her day then she’ll be all ears for yours. Whenever it’s movie night, she always keeps a place for me on the couch…”

Her voice becomes barely a whisper when she speaks once again after such a moment of pause, her lips curved into one of the gentle smiles Wanda has ever seen, it’s almost rare.

“ _Everyone starts out as a stranger._ You, Tony… _Her_. Whatever it is, I just know how important she is to me… That’s all that matters.”

Bucky Barnes is a man worthy of reason. He should be after what he’s gone through, live through. He understands reasons, justice, and logic. But he also understands love through his own experience.

Being born in a decade where standards of love were different, he knows and understands through his own. He has Steve to thank for that, the secret little getaways, the stolen kisses in alleyways, Bucky Barnes understands what love is by living it through his own.

So when he walks in to the common room, barely even morning but ok the break of dawn, there’s the static of the TV faint in his ears. He’s quick to realize when he walks in and catches two figures in the couch.

A forest of red hair and another of yours, he watches as you sit up against the head and wrap an arm around Natasha. Your cheek leaning against the top of her head, she snuggles closer in response.

“ _Are you cold now?_ ”

“ _Nope_.”

But you’re engulfing her deeper which emits a chuckle from the older woman.

“ _How about now? Still cold?_ ”

“ _Mm.. much better._ ”

You must’ve done something to the Russian spy as she’s exhaling a soft sigh, something so mundane, so happy, Bucky has never seen her this way since Yelena… It makes him smile.

He’s aware of what the two of you are now. That’s all he really needs to know before he returns back to his room.

**Author's Note:**

> https://starsvck.tumblr.com/


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